I was fired… (sometimes it feels like we don’t get to choose our path)
Yes, I was. It was my 2nd job out of university in South Africa – and quite frankly one I didn’t like at all and was completely unsuited to – doing admin in a small office for small manufacturing concern. What hurt was that I was conscientious and always wanted to do what I did well – so when the day came when my boss pulled me into his office on the Friday after everyone had left, and handed me my last paycheck, I was gob-smacked.
Normally I would have things to say. I can be a talker, and I can give as good as I get. But, I was so stunned, I just left, not saying much and I don’t think I even asked why. Ok, I was 20 or 21 at the time, so a little naïve. But I was definitely in deep shock.
I went to a lawyer, and we undertook a path to sue for unfair dismissal. And on the day of my first appearance in court – I was a wreck. I was literally shaking like a leaf. I learnt the process was going to take a year, to be resolved even though the law was on my side.
My ego took a severe knock. Self doubt crept in. I felt incompetent and unsure of myself. I wasn’t sure of the value I provided. You can imagine the thoughts spiraling in my head. I was still not clear on why it had happened. No reason was given. So it felt like there was nothing to learn from, except the assumptions that crept in based on supposition.
One of my clients recently shared a similar experience. She hadn’t been fired, but she had been strung along by an organization that was reviewing her contract with them, and then let her go, after being asked not to look at working with any other clients during that time. Devastating. And not clear on the real reasons it worked out the way it did.
Again, anger, self doubt, lack of confidence, thoughts spiraling – was it the pricing, was it what she was offering, was it, was it, was it…? And with no other clients to fall back on, this was a horrible situation to be in. Again another court case. And the heavy energy of all of that, holding her back with making strides forward. And questioning everything she planned to do – putting her in that ‘stuck’ place many of us are familiar with.
I dropped my court-case. I knew that feeling that way for a whole year, to get ‘justice’ wasn’t going to serve me. I’m proud of my 20 year old self for making that decision. I wanted to move on, and put it behind me. And I did. (maybe we’re more resilient at that age?) It was a choice made probably more from the fear of feeling that way, rather than how I wanted my future to look. But I’m glad I made that choice because it allowed me to move forward quickly.
So my client, just as I did, saw how the experience of the past was creating really dark muggy energy that wasn’t allowing her to move forward. Especially because she wasn’t clear on the ‘why’s’. When reminded of the value she brought to her clients, the difference she makes in their lives, and the potential of what was to come in her future… things shifted dramatically.
A new day.
Your past whether distant or recent can have the power to stop you – but only if you let it. What happened might not even have had anything to do with you. And if you know the ‘why’s’ you can choose to learn from them. But then you get to make a choice to look at all the good you’ve done and can do, and not let that ONE situation taint all the rest. Your future is bright if you ALLOW it, and consciously LET GO of the past. Just that singular intention can do so much.
What do you need to let go of to move forward?
REMINDER: You are an angel on earth, doing amazing things, and impacting lives. Don’t let your past stop you from what you’re truly meant to be doing.
